The cheeseburger jumped off the menu. It wasn’t just a normal cheeseburger to begin with because, to start, it had cheddar cheese and blue cheese on it. Then, there was bacon and jalapenos. I never wanted a cheeseburger so bad in my life, and I’m a cheeseburger fanatic. That’s why I googled Cheeseburger Near Me in the first place.
I was at an old diner I had never been before. I picked up the menu, and it was faded with a coffee stain, the kind of menu that has a stamp where new items are, but they haven’t been updated for over a decade. That’s when you know you’re somewhere special and you’re about to eat food from a chef who may or may not have been to prison to learn how to cook. Either that or he was a chef in the Navy and spent years out to sea.
That first bite hit me like a lightning bolt as all the juices came together and found a way to be nice to each other. My eyes rolled in my head, and I said out loud, “Yes. This is it! This is what it’s all about!”
I heard the chef in the kitchen say, “Thanks, man!”
That’s when I realized I had actually said those words. I didn’t just think them. The waitress was smiling like she got it all the time. The other patrons didn’t even bother to turn around and look at me. They must have been regulars and knew the food was that good.
I savored every bite as I wiped my mouth with a napkin and dreamed about the next one. I wouldn’t even take a drink because that would wash the taste down. Food like this isn’t supposed to be washed down, not when it’s made by a master chef. I don’t care where he got his training.
As I took my last bite, the thought occurred to me to get another one to take home. One just wasn’t going to do it. I was so thankful I found this place using Cheeseburger Near Me. That’s when I caught something out of the corner of my eye. Across the street, there was a robbery taking place.
Normally, I would stay out of it and let authorities do their jobs. That’s why they created Stop Loss for companies like that one. But this time, motivated by the fact that I had just eaten a great cheeseburger that should go down in the Hall of Fame of cheeseburgers, I jumped into action. I ran out of the diner, yelling the entire way, “I’ll be back to pay in a second and put another one on the grill for me, please!”
I ran across the street like Forrest Gump in that movie named after him. I blasted through the door and caught the robber off guard. He fumbled the weapon he was hiding in his jacket pocket, and a squirt gun fell to the floor. Not thinking, I picked it up and pointed it at him. Then, I realized what it was.
The clerk slowly started putting all the money back in the drawer. The manager came out of his office and escorted the man to the door, which he eagerly complied with a look of surprise. But the manager explained along the way, “We have you on camera. You won’t get far.”
The man ran as fast as he could once he got to the door. Then, the manager looked at me with a smile on his face, “And that was very stupid of you!”
Not the words I was expecting to hear. But I guess I had that coming. So, I announced to anyone who cared, “I just had a cheeseburger from across the street with bacon and jalapeno.”
When they heard that, everyone nodded, “Ah, that explains it.”
That’s when a very gorgeous lady came up to me and said, “I was impressed.”
“You were?” I asked.
She winked slowly and then whispered in my ear, “It turned me on.”
I couldn’t believe how much better my day had gotten. She was tall with a beautiful smile and the kind of voice that made your leg start to shake. As my mind raced for ways to ask her out, she broke my process, “Would you like to go over and get a cup of coffee with me?”
I nodded like a kid offered candy, “I ordered another cheeseburger. So, that would be great. I have to go back that way anyway.”
From that night on, we became an item. We were dating about three times a week, but she always came to my house because she said I wasn’t ready to meet Todd. That was an interesting surprise. I guessed that meant she had a child, and she was a good mother because she wanted to get to know me first before she introduced me. It made me like her so much more, even though I didn’t think that was possible.
Finally, the day came for me to meet Todd. That was another huge surprise. Todd was her dog. He immediately took to me. At first, it was a sniff and a nod of approval. That night, he was on my lap while we watched TV.
Tracy kept trying to get close to us. But Todd kept making himself more and more obvious. It was cute. Tracy laughed and later told me that Todd didn’t take to the guys she dated like that. So, I must have been special.
I started spending more time with her at her place, and Todd was always happy to see me. If I sat down, he sat with me or on me. He followed me around the house. He begged me to walk him. And I could start to see it in Tracy’s eyes that this might be getting to her.
She tested a few theories out and got answers she didn’t like. She’d call him from the kitchen, and Todd would look up, but he wouldn’t move. The kitchen meant food. What dog in their right mind turns down food?
Another test that gave her an answer she didn’t like was when she stood in front of us in the living room and held the leash. Todd looked up at me as if he wanted me to walk him. He didn’t even want Tracy to do that.
I could see it was bothering her, but she didn’t say anything. What could she say? “I hate how much my dog loves you? I wish he didn’t like you so much.”
Eventually, she joked about it, “You know, I think he loves you more than me.” She said it with a laugh. But behind the laugh, I could see that meant something to her. It might have cut a little.
That’s when it hit me. That’s how good those cheeseburgers were. I knew at that point I needed to go back there and order a few more. Then, go play the lottery.
When you eat a cheddar cheeseburger with blue cheese and jalapeños, you feel unstoppable.
When you feel unstoppable, you stop a robbery.
When you stop a robbery, a beautiful woman notices.
When a beautiful woman notices, you start dating.
When you start dating, you steal your girlfriend’s dog.
Eat cheddar cheeseburgers with blue cheese and jalapeños responsibly!
~~~
Your next page turner is just around the corner. A River in the Ocean is available at Amazon. Find out how you can read it for free!
If you want to read something else outrageous, these good Samaritans were thanked in the worst possible way – When Doing Wonderful Deeds Gets You in Dumb Trouble
And this guy’s insurance was rejected for the most ridiculous reason – The Ugly Truth About Home Insurance Quotes
