Nikki Glaser Brought A Blowtorch To The Roast Of Tom Brady

Some feelings got hurt at Tom Brady’s Roast on Netflix and news stories all across the internet are enlightening us about the many tears that have been shed. But before all that, Nikki Glaser came in and dowsed the Kia Forum with gas before kickstarting her flamethrower and scorching all of Inglewood, California.

The first one to show that this was going to be a different Roast was Tom Brady himself when he stood up and told Jeff Ross, “Don’t say that shit again.” Jeff was doing his job making fun of Robert Kraft and the prostitution scandal he was in a few years ago. But those charges were dropped and that’s behind the man so there’s really no need to catch feelings over that. It was in that moment when Tom Brady thought he would ref his own Roast and make up his own rules, that we knew we were in for something different.

There were jokes about Aaron Hernandez that people caught feelings over. It’s reported that Gisele Bündchen was upset about the marriage and divorce jokes. But there is no real evidence of that because all of those stories report that “sources close to her” are saying she’s upset. That’s just a journalistic method to make up drama and back it with “protected” sources. All we really know for sure is that she was off doing something more important than watching a Roast of her ex-husband, like helping victims of the floods in Brazil.

Of course, this is a new era and we do live with people who don’t quite know what a Roast is about, or they’re not down with it and want to stop it regardless that other people find them fun. It’s just too bad for all those sensitive hearts that got broken that as long as Kevin Hart and Jeff Ross still walk the earth, there is always going to be something to get offended about. But Nikki Glaser stole the show. Ross might have to put down his mantle as the Roastmaster General and give credit to the comedian from Ohio who came in and scorched the earth.

There was no topic she wouldn’t burn. His relationship is public knowledge so it wasn’t like Nikki was bringing jokes to the table that no one knew about. The fact of the matter is, they wouldn’t have been funny if no one had a reference to them.

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That’s a joke that pokes fun at both him and Gronk. Talk about making people roll. That joke had me belly-rolling and I only reserve that for the absolutely very best.

That’s just more evidence that she was unapologetically vicious. Some people say the Roasts are getting out of hand. But those people have every right to change the channel. Just like when they tell other people to censor themselves, they can exercise their own advice.

No one in the room was safe. Kevin Hart was handing out his own low blows to everyone. He knew he was going to have to take some hits himself and Nikki delivered. Those height jokes were truly savage.

There was nothing she refused to say. She will give it up for a good joke and hers were by far the best. Case closed. Nikki Glaser won the night.

The best part about it was there were jokes she didn’t do. She held them back. Either someone else touched on a joke similar to one of hers and she didn’t want to be redundant or there was some other reason like an agreement not to drag the kids into it.

Regardless, she ruled the night, and even Kevin Hart had to give her props. There is no denying who the greatest of that Roast was. Take a bow, Nikki Glaser. If Jeff Ross is Roastermaster General, then you are Rostmaster Commander in Chief.

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