When Paul Kerouac walked into the Dunkin’ Donuts in Winter Park, Florida, in January of 2022, little did he know that his life was going to change forever. But not in a good way.
Employees of that particular Dunkin’ Donuts had a secret that they did not share with the public. They had even reported their secret to management but to no avail. The looming issue remained, and it was only a matter of time before one unfortunate victim would get the surprise of their life.
That victim was Paul Kerouac. He went in to use the bathroom, and that’s when the toilet decided to fail. As you might imagine, Paul had the most disgusting experience of his life. The toilet exploded and covered him in the urine and feces of all the people who had discharged before him. Standing there in the middle of the bathroom, he couldn’t believe what had just happened, and his mind must have snapped.
Mine would have. But I would have handled that situation a little differently. It appears that Paul peacefully left the Dunkin’ Donuts covered in pissy dung. The mental stress the ordeal put on him caused him to seek therapy for his issues. I don’t blame him. That would take a good bit of mental exploration to get over being covered in the bodily fluids of only God knows who has used that facility.
This story comes to light now because Paul has recently filed a lawsuit. He’s seeking $100,000 in damages, which, in my opinion, is very modest of him. I would own the store and have it bulldozed just to try to get the imagery out of my head.
AP reports that the lawsuit says, “Kerouac suffered ‘bodily injury,’ and he has required mental health care and counseling since the incident in January 2022.”
Well, I’m past saying I’ve heard it all now. That went out the window back in 2020. So far this year, we’ve had a Katt Williams interview, a Stanley Cup stampede, a Gypsy release party, some Fat Joe confusion, and a Miami Mall Creature Spotting. January has just begun, and that’s what has happened so far.
On that last note, while police are debunking the Miami Mall Creature that some eye-witnesses have even described as aliens, how do they explain the sighting that sent hundreds of people running for their lives? There is video of the creature and footage of scared eye-witnesses who can’t get away fast enough.
Add the Paul Kerouac lawsuit, and 2024 is already lit!
On another note, have you noticed that not one person has called Katt Williams a liar? They’ve snapped back to save face, but no one has yet to say he lied. Now, I can’t do anything about that interview or the movies and shows that have come out about Gypsy Rose. Nor would I want to on either account.
But what I can do is offer a solution to the Stanley Starbucks Cup. That’s right, it’s the Not A Stanley. Check it out…